Challenge

I've been through so many things recently...

At first, I went to cinema with Ji Muis to watch "Sorority Row", suddenly there was a technical problem, the image was gone. After waited for few minutes, it came to normal again. On the same day, when we were preparing to go to Euro Dely to have our dinner, my car's tyre was broke.

I told myself, all the bad luck will be ended on 16th October, tomorrow will be a brand new day... Who knows what will happen on the next day? Only God knows...

After i've got my peaceful life for 3 days, troubles came to me finally. I really think that humans cannot challenge our own destiny with the God. I was planning to go Ampang "Gao Wong Yeah" temple to pray. When i was driving and reached at a T-junction, you are supposed to stop the car for a while and turn left and right to make sure when there's no car or safe only you can continue driving right? However when I was stopped at the T-junction, the car behind me crashed my back... I was shocked...

My Ji Muis got down the car and saw what happened to my back. When I heard he said : OMG, I knew that something bad is happening to me AGAIN... After I got down from the car I was like WTF!!! My car was injured seriuosly...

Then I went to the Kancil and talked to the aunty driver. The driver was talking politely to me, however the other aunty who was sitting next to her asked me : Why are you stopping the car? If you don't stop I also wouldn't have crashed your car!

I was like : WTF!!! Everybody knows that when we reach T-junction we must stop the car for a while to make sure that it's safe for us to continue driving. After we told her this, she stopped talking. Then she claimed that she didn't have money to compensate me. And after that the other aunty kept on bla bla bla... I was so mad and yet I didn't talk to her rudely, I just hope that we can settle this problem peacefully. Finally the driver surrendered and paid me 100bucks...

Act I'm not upset because of my car was crashed, I'm upset that why am I so BAD LUCK recently? It's like all the troubles and problems are on their way coming to me. It just can't stop coming to me... I HATE the current situation!!! I don't like this feelings!!! Please, I just wish to live peacefully... I don't like "SURPRISES"... I HATE "SURPRISES"!!! I want my ordinary life... I just can't take it anymore... I can't imagine what will happen to me if something bad is gonna happen to me again... Please... I'm so scared...

I just think that, humans are not powerful to challenge with the God for their destiny. Just like me, I can't do anything for the bad things that have happened... But I do thank God if the troubles and problems stop coming to me, I'l be GLAD. Please, please stop all the troubles and problems... I'm begging You, God... Please... Hope You can hear me... I'm really really upset... Please... =(

Updates... ^^

Long time didn't update, just drop by to write some stuffs which happening lately... =p

Yeah... Finally started our 1st paper today... Well, today's paper is kinda average to me, I'm struggling on the bottom line... I'm not greedy at all, hope I can get 50% marks to pass all my papers... Wish all of my ji muisss pass all papers also ya =D

Later will be going out to celebrate Lin Lin's birthday... But it's raining heavily now, hope the rain stops before we go out lo, dun wish to be "落汤鸡" later...

And today I'm not planning to revise at all, coz I'm exhausted for P1... I just hope that today will be having fun with ji muisss at Lin's birthday celebration and release all the stress~~~~~

We are still having 2 papers to go after today's paper, pray hard to PASS, but I think most probably I will drop P2(touch wood touch wood...) LOL...

My Pumpkin Carriage

Everyone knows that Cinderella had a pumpkin carriage long long long long time ago. In fact, in the year of 2009, the most high tech environment, the 21st century that we are living now, I have a "pumpkin carriage" also... But this is not the same as Cinderella, LOL...

Why did I say so? It's simply because, I need to reach home at 10.30pm or sometimes even earlier, 9sth to 10pm to return my "pumpkin carriage" to my parents if I'm driving it out in the evening... See, I am worse than Cinderella, as she only needed to go back home before 12midnight... T______T

My family actually has two cars, one is Myvi the other one is Wish. However, my mom doesn't allow me to drive HER car. If I'm going to TRY to drive it, my mom definitely will kill me (it's true, i'm nbot bluffing) And I think I never drove Wish for more than 5 times in the past 3 years (again, i'm not bluffing) I wonder why, I used to ask her why I cant drive the car because I was seriously needed to go out that time, she didn't answer my question, she just said that you will never get the chance to drive it. I was so stupid, last time everytime I asked her and we ended up fighting. After I've asked her 2 or 3 times, I gave up. I knew that she wont allowed me to drive it, and I'm not going to drive it anymore since the last time she told me so.

Actually it's a good motivation for me to study harder and earn more money as I want to have my own car, I feel so sick for having a "pumpkin carriage" at home... And I feel so sorry for my dad, he's the one who bought the car and earning money to pay for the car's monthly installment, he also doesn't have more chances to drive the car. Funny huh?

The other thing which bothering me is, if I'm going out with friends in the nights and reach home very very late without driving, my mom wont give me a call to ask me when am I going back. BUT, if I"M DRIVING, she wont stop calling me and asking me to go back home before my dad wants to go out as she doesn't want my dad to drive HER car... Weird huh? No calls for hang out without driving, 100 calls if driving. What a GOOD CONCERN from a mother to a daughter huh? I feel so funny, LOL...

If you want to succeed don't depends on family, better work it out yourself. I do agree that family is the best place for children when they facing difficulties in life, however my family is kinda complicated case... Hmm... The only thing I wanna do now is that I can graduate on time and find a good job to raise myself... Hope it's not a dream to me but it's a reality that I can realise in the future... =)

Greetings

I received a call from my uncle this afternoon...

At first we were talking bout family stuffs, then he asked me whether i am still working as trainnee now and i said no, but im currently working as waitress as my part time job.

He said: "U must take care of yourself, dun work so hard until ignore your health and studies. Money is not everything but U are the one I care the most as U r my family, I will feel upset if I get to know that U are unhappy because of working or studying, dun give yourself so much pressure... OK?"

When I heard this my heart felt very warm, and I started to feel like crying. However I forced myself not to cry infront of uncle, and I answered him that I will take care of myself, dun worry bout me... Asked him to take good care of my grandmom also... After that our conversation is ended.

I wanna say THANK YOU SO MUCH UNCLE!!! I will remember what U told me and I will be tough. I won't let myself to be despondent. I know that I have responsibilities to this family, I will try my best to do it!!! Ur greeting makes me feel so warm, all the pressure that I'm having suddenly disappeared~~~ THANK YOU~~~

不要吝啬于问候，你永远不会知道一句简简单单的问候，是足以温暖一颗弱小的心灵...

Wednesday Morning

It's Wednesday morning, and it's raining heavily... This weather makes me sleepy...

Wish to sleep until afternoon...

But i know today i can't sleep so much... As i need to study for CR make good test!!!

I'm forcing myself to concentrate on CR today! I can't guarantee that i can study 100% of the syllabus but i will try my best to study as much as i can!!!

Add oil my ji muisss~~~

雨天

灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了...

虽然我没有流泪，可是在这个星期日早晨的下雨天让我想起了这首歌。我觉得“天下起雨了 人是不快乐 我的心真的受伤了”是我目前的心情写照... 我的心，是真的彻彻底底地受伤了~~~ 已经到了几乎体无完肤的地步，我不知道我到底还能支撑多久，我的心还能再承受莫名的压力和失望吗？

压力源自多方面，不是只是学业，人到了某个年龄总会有许多大大小小的烦恼，这些烦恼往往让我喘不过气... 失望的是最近总感觉无论我多努力的去完成我的某些人生中的使命，结果都不是我所希望的那样，这种感觉让我觉得好无力...

忽然间，觉得这个雨天来得正是时候。雨天滴滴答答的声音让我的心暂时将这些压力和失望忘却...滴滴答答地反而好像让我的心得到了一丝平静，感觉好舒服...最起码我的烦恼已被这些雨声取代了...

享受着雨天带给我的安宁，曾几何时我们都是一群无忧无虑快快乐乐地生活的年轻人，为何现在我们却需要藉由其他途径来寻开心呢？我们再也找不回当年快乐的少年少女了，取而代之的是一群为生活、为人生开始思索，计划的一群社会新鲜人...真的好怀念那段无忧无虑的青春岁月...

想着想着，雨突然停了...阳光突然从窗外照射到我的书桌上，这意味着什么呢？是否是个好预兆？

HOW???

I feel that my life is so fucked up recently...

How? How? How?

How am I going to continue my studies? How am I going to pass my make good test???!!!! And the most important is, WHAT IF I COULDN'T MAKE IT? WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS FOR ME IN THE FUTURE?

Although we've been thinking of 5 options if touch wood, we really couldn't make it. But, I still feel like... Unsecured... I really dunno how to describe my feelings recently, it's very COMPLICATED... I started to feel worry because I feel like I can't understand myself recently, my mind is not being operated by myself, it's like controlled by others... And the "others" who is controlling my mind now is not an object, it's intangible, the 3 papers T_____T

I HATE this feeling!!! I really can't feel any happiness now... And i think all of us also like tat, although we are smiling but we are not really happy...

I wake up early in the morning everyday to go for jogging in order to release the pressure... But it doesn't seem succeed. I used to feel happy after sweating, but now, I only can feel that my body is very tired, my mind is still thinking of the papers... HOW??? HOW??? HOW??? HOW can I get rid of these 3 papers??? Can I stop thinking of them for a moment? I will feel REALLY REALLY HAPPY if they just leave me alone for few seconds T_____T

My life is so fucked up because of these 3 papers... I cant feel happy for what I felt happy previously... The happiest thing to me is exercise but it seems like useless to me anymore... When can I get back my happiness? I need it back...