Greetings

I received a call from my uncle this afternoon...

At first we were talking bout family stuffs, then he asked me whether i am still working as trainnee now and i said no, but im currently working as waitress as my part time job.

He said: "U must take care of yourself, dun work so hard until ignore your health and studies. Money is not everything but U are the one I care the most as U r my family, I will feel upset if I get to know that U are unhappy because of working or studying, dun give yourself so much pressure... OK?"

When I heard this my heart felt very warm, and I started to feel like crying. However I forced myself not to cry infront of uncle, and I answered him that I will take care of myself, dun worry bout me... Asked him to take good care of my grandmom also... After that our conversation is ended.

I wanna say THANK YOU SO MUCH UNCLE!!! I will remember what U told me and I will be tough. I won't let myself to be despondent. I know that I have responsibilities to this family, I will try my best to do it!!! Ur greeting makes me feel so warm, all the pressure that I'm having suddenly disappeared~~~ THANK YOU~~~

不要吝啬于问候，你永远不会知道一句简简单单的问候，是足以温暖一颗弱小的心灵...

Wednesday Morning

It's Wednesday morning, and it's raining heavily... This weather makes me sleepy...

Wish to sleep until afternoon...

But i know today i can't sleep so much... As i need to study for CR make good test!!!

I'm forcing myself to concentrate on CR today! I can't guarantee that i can study 100% of the syllabus but i will try my best to study as much as i can!!!

Add oil my ji muisss~~~

雨天

灯光熄灭了
音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了
人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了...

虽然我没有流泪，可是在这个星期日早晨的下雨天让我想起了这首歌。我觉得“天下起雨了 人是不快乐 我的心真的受伤了”是我目前的心情写照... 我的心，是真的彻彻底底地受伤了~~~ 已经到了几乎体无完肤的地步，我不知道我到底还能支撑多久，我的心还能再承受莫名的压力和失望吗？

压力源自多方面，不是只是学业，人到了某个年龄总会有许多大大小小的烦恼，这些烦恼往往让我喘不过气... 失望的是最近总感觉无论我多努力的去完成我的某些人生中的使命，结果都不是我所希望的那样，这种感觉让我觉得好无力...

忽然间，觉得这个雨天来得正是时候。雨天滴滴答答的声音让我的心暂时将这些压力和失望忘却...滴滴答答地反而好像让我的心得到了一丝平静，感觉好舒服...最起码我的烦恼已被这些雨声取代了...

享受着雨天带给我的安宁，曾几何时我们都是一群无忧无虑快快乐乐地生活的年轻人，为何现在我们却需要藉由其他途径来寻开心呢？我们再也找不回当年快乐的少年少女了，取而代之的是一群为生活、为人生开始思索，计划的一群社会新鲜人...真的好怀念那段无忧无虑的青春岁月...

想着想着，雨突然停了...阳光突然从窗外照射到我的书桌上，这意味着什么呢？是否是个好预兆？

HOW???

I feel that my life is so fucked up recently...

How? How? How?

How am I going to continue my studies? How am I going to pass my make good test???!!!! And the most important is, WHAT IF I COULDN'T MAKE IT? WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS FOR ME IN THE FUTURE?

Although we've been thinking of 5 options if touch wood, we really couldn't make it. But, I still feel like... Unsecured... I really dunno how to describe my feelings recently, it's very COMPLICATED... I started to feel worry because I feel like I can't understand myself recently, my mind is not being operated by myself, it's like controlled by others... And the "others" who is controlling my mind now is not an object, it's intangible, the 3 papers T_____T

I HATE this feeling!!! I really can't feel any happiness now... And i think all of us also like tat, although we are smiling but we are not really happy...

I wake up early in the morning everyday to go for jogging in order to release the pressure... But it doesn't seem succeed. I used to feel happy after sweating, but now, I only can feel that my body is very tired, my mind is still thinking of the papers... HOW??? HOW??? HOW??? HOW can I get rid of these 3 papers??? Can I stop thinking of them for a moment? I will feel REALLY REALLY HAPPY if they just leave me alone for few seconds T_____T

My life is so fucked up because of these 3 papers... I cant feel happy for what I felt happy previously... The happiest thing to me is exercise but it seems like useless to me anymore... When can I get back my happiness? I need it back...