Saturday 1 August 2009

HOW???


I feel that my life is so fucked up recently...
How? How? How?

How am I going to continue my studies? How am I going to pass my make good test???!!!! And the most important is, WHAT IF I COULDN'T MAKE IT? WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS FOR ME IN THE FUTURE?
Although we've been thinking of 5 options if touch wood, we really couldn't make it. But, I still feel like... Unsecured... I really dunno how to describe my feelings recently, it's very COMPLICATED... I started to feel worry because I feel like I can't understand myself recently, my mind is not being operated by myself, it's like controlled by others... And the "others" who is controlling my mind now is not an object, it's intangible, the 3 papers T_____T

I HATE this feeling!!! I really can't feel any happiness now... And i think all of us also like tat, although we are smiling but we are not really happy...

I wake up early in the morning everyday to go for jogging in order to release the pressure... But it doesn't seem succeed. I used to feel happy after sweating, but now, I only can feel that my body is very tired, my mind is still thinking of the papers... HOW??? HOW??? HOW??? HOW can I get rid of these 3 papers??? Can I stop thinking of them for a moment? I will feel REALLY REALLY HAPPY if they just leave me alone for few seconds T_____T
My life is so fucked up because of these 3 papers... I cant feel happy for what I felt happy previously... The happiest thing to me is exercise but it seems like useless to me anymore... When can I get back my happiness? I need it back...

6 comments:

  1. wei...take a day break k.....if jogging dun do da job....go for a get together n go for comedy....dis is jz another time for a laugh to come into da pic.... mayb v can get together if u r free one day.... screw da damn test for a couple of hours... :) ther is alwaz plenty of other alternative in life...dun get depress if one road hit a dead end....ther is alwaz a U-turn....go get it n try for another road...u will nvr know wat u might find at the end of dat road :) take it easr abit,my dear

    ReplyDelete
  2. feel so grey ad.......pressure everyday......we seems like no enjoy at all in out studies...mayb this is not we want..for money,we chose tis course.but haih...just cant cheat ourselves to b happy...LOL...some ppl even pressure,tired also feel happy coz they r fighting 4 the things they like they interested at.we?

    ReplyDelete
  3. *not enjoy at all in our studies..

    ReplyDelete
  4. agree wit cw...
    i oso think about my future, but i really dunnoe how would it be...
    stress... >,<

    ReplyDelete
  5. ya, although i try my best to cheer uo myself but it seems useless lo... my frens said my smiles very fake neh, wat to do? no mood ma but pretend happy... actually i realise all of us also like tis neh, i miss DAC 29 so much!!! the smiles tat we had were the happiest smiles we had!!! but now, we cant smile like tat anymore... coz we are not happy...

    ReplyDelete
  6. u mean DAC24 izit??lol.....sometimes rily do think whether accounts is da correct choice dat i made...though im nt in da same course as u all...bt aac isn very much better....nt rily dat happy anymore...the first 2 college years hav been da bez though

    ReplyDelete