Saturday, 31 October 2009

Hedgehog


I'm very tired of repeating and explaning my decision...

I need TIME... I hope that you guys can leave me alone at the moment, I really don't feel like talking all these shits right now... Not in the mood, please and APOLOGIZE if i have offended any of you. I don't mean to offend any of you but sometimes when I'm not in the mood, I'l become a Hedgehog. I might hurt all the peopple around me with the sharp spikes covering my back...
I hope you guys know how much I love you guys, how much I care about you guys BUT no offence, just leave me alone when I'm not in the mood... Because I'm scared that I might ruin your good mood when you talk to me... I might say some shits that I've never thought that I would say to you all, I'm scared I will offend you all... I do APPRECIATE all your concern to me, I feel glad because at least, I know that I still have you all at my back...
But, again, please just leave me alone at the moment... I will find my way out of this shit mood, no worries, I just need TIME...
And THANKS for all of your concern, I do appreciate it...

Friday, 30 October 2009

自由就是“流浪”

我有一个梦想,其实只是一个平凡的梦...
我的梦是:希望我以后能自给自足,不用靠家庭,然后搬出去,拥有一个个人的小小空间。
房子不需要很大,我只是...想要自由...

我常常在想,自由,是不是每个人的梦呢?
至少,这真的是我的梦...

从我懂事以来,妈妈就给我很大很大的约束!
无论大小事情,她都要管。

我以前就在想,也许是因为我还小,妈妈想要保护我而已...
呵呵,现在想起来还真讽刺!
人家是把真心当狗肺,而我,竟然是把狗肺当真心!!!
我还真的以为她是为我好,而随着时间和许许多多的事情发生后,我就发现,原来,她只是“要”约束我!!!

也许我说到这里,大多数人会觉得我很不应该这样想母亲,可是,这是事实,我并没有扭曲事实!!!
熟悉我的人就会了解,为什么我会这么说了,所以,我也不怕被人误解或骂了...

我也明白一个道理,无论我们的关系再怎么恶劣,母亲就只有一个。所以,我也不会不负责任的说不再理会她,我还是会尽女儿的本分,我一定会养爸妈的...
只是,孝顺她的方法就是我搬出去,省得我在家里大家互看大家不顺眼,然后发生口角,再然后,后果就不堪设想!!!

呵呵,很讽刺吧?这竟然是我孝顺她的方法,只是,我已经无计可施了...
我想不到有什么更好的方法来和她相处。我不是没有努力过,我也有尽我的全力来改善我们之间的关系,可是,还是行不通...

我留在家里的时间越久,争吵的次数就越多...
为什么要这样呢?为什么我们不能和平相处呢???
所以,从我13岁到现在21岁,我就知道,不在家,没和她见面,就不会吵架...
这也是为什么我那么爱一天到晚外出的原因...

放假的日子真难熬... 别人放假很开心,而我却只能担心... 担心不知道下一秒会不会又和她吵起来,现在我基本上没什么事情就不会和她说话,不然不知道什么时候踩到地雷,然后我又要壮烈牺牲了...

我只希望,把书念好,毕业后,找一份稳定的工作,来实现我的梦想...
这样的要求,会不会很过分?
而安稳的日子,离我还有多久?
真正了解我的人,又有几个呢?

Thursday, 22 October 2009

Quattro

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Just came back from Quattro, tonight has been a GOOD night to me, at least... I've forgotten my BAD LUCK... =)
I went to Quattro with my colleagues who is working at Kay's Cafe...
We were celebrating JJ's birthday.
It was a very nice place to go for clubbing, there's no "LA LA", only youngsters who wants to have fun...
Wish to go there again with my Ji Muis next time, I'm sure that they'l have fun too =)
It's 5.30 in the morning now and yet i haven't slept...
It's time to sleep now, good night my friends...
Or I should say "good morning" my friends, LOL... =p

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

雨的演奏


已经很多天都没有下雨了,今天终于下起了大雨...
经历了这几天所发生的事,放松心情,静静聆听雨的演奏,原来,也是一种快乐的享受...

说实在的,我一时之间不能接受这几天所发生在我身上倒霉的事...
真的是所谓的:一波未平,一波又起。
我不是那种怨天怨地的人,只是,我短时间不能消化这么多事情...
我同意“人无千日好,花无百日红”这句话,只是,我真的是需要时间来消化这所有的一切...

人们都说,这几天会下雨时因为“九皇爷”的神诞。
我再此诚信的希望这场大雨是下来把所有不好的事情都洗去的...
把霉运冲走,迎接幸运的到来...

想着想着,就觉得这场雨的演奏是这么的动听的... ^^

Challenge

I've been through so many things recently...

At first, I went to cinema with Ji Muis to watch "Sorority Row", suddenly there was a technical problem, the image was gone. After waited for few minutes, it came to normal again. On the same day, when we were preparing to go to Euro Dely to have our dinner, my car's tyre was broke.

I told myself, all the bad luck will be ended on 16th October, tomorrow will be a brand new day... Who knows what will happen on the next day? Only God knows...

After i've got my peaceful life for 3 days, troubles came to me finally. I really think that humans cannot challenge our own destiny with the God. I was planning to go Ampang "Gao Wong Yeah" temple to pray. When i was driving and reached at a T-junction, you are supposed to stop the car for a while and turn left and right to make sure when there's no car or safe only you can continue driving right? However when I was stopped at the T-junction, the car behind me crashed my back... I was shocked...

My Ji Muis got down the car and saw what happened to my back. When I heard he said : OMG, I knew that something bad is happening to me AGAIN... After I got down from the car I was like WTF!!! My car was injured seriuosly...

Then I went to the Kancil and talked to the aunty driver. The driver was talking politely to me, however the other aunty who was sitting next to her asked me : Why are you stopping the car? If you don't stop I also wouldn't have crashed your car!

I was like : WTF!!! Everybody knows that when we reach T-junction we must stop the car for a while to make sure that it's safe for us to continue driving. After we told her this, she stopped talking. Then she claimed that she didn't have money to compensate me. And after that the other aunty kept on bla bla bla... I was so mad and yet I didn't talk to her rudely, I just hope that we can settle this problem peacefully. Finally the driver surrendered and paid me 100bucks...

Act I'm not upset because of my car was crashed, I'm upset that why am I so BAD LUCK recently? It's like all the troubles and problems are on their way coming to me. It just can't stop coming to me... I HATE the current situation!!! I don't like this feelings!!! Please, I just wish to live peacefully... I don't like "SURPRISES"... I HATE "SURPRISES"!!! I want my ordinary life... I just can't take it anymore... I can't imagine what will happen to me if something bad is gonna happen to me again... Please... I'm so scared...

I just think that, humans are not powerful to challenge with the God for their destiny. Just like me, I can't do anything for the bad things that have happened... But I do thank God if the troubles and problems stop coming to me, I'l be GLAD. Please, please stop all the troubles and problems... I'm begging You, God... Please... Hope You can hear me... I'm really really upset... Please... =(